Monday, May 15, 2017

In Search of True Conviction

I have tried repeatedly,
looking down the long and convoluted
barrel of politics
riding upon torrential tides of
straining for hope within
shadows of dark and ominous speculation.

Since I first discerned the difference
pain of injury and
mother’s haunting and delicious embrace
rapturous melodies of a songbird
outside my window and
hurtful disappointment
stern admonitions of father and
the unrestrained joy of holding
ephemeral beauty within my feeble grasp
the morbid anticipation of darkest night
and the fiery enchantment of emerging dawn,
I yearned for the discovery of explanation
within the crucible of doubt.

For me,
there is no escape from
questions that hold
no simple answers
an endless discourse
with sweeping time.

I have savored
love with delicacy and
crazed abandon,
I have enfolded friendship
yearning for connection,
I am no stranger to
mishap and disaster.

I am the child of my generation
inevitably fall back
upon my inimitable self.

I am forever puzzled by
this muddled world
where humanity unfolds its destiny
a strange and enticing enigma that
holds no resolution to the
ceaseless quest for understanding.

This life has spanned
over seven decades
enfolded a caravan of dreams,
vivid panorama of exploration and
abiding disbelief,
stories of many textures,
expansive landscapes and
hapless desire,
its inevitable catalog of pain
and memories sweetened by the
fortuitous breath of love.

I have tried repeatedly
to understand,
to encompass truth
as if it had a palpable presence,
to leave a trail of remarkable inspiration,
to be remembered.

What I have discovered instead,
to my awakened and awkward surprise –
true peace of mind lies within the arms
of continual acts of

delicate and determined surrender.

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